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My Wasted Life - January 18th, 2008:

So… here we are once again in familiar territory.

I didn’t figure this year was passing any more quickly than previous years… but a quick glance at the clock up there in the top right hand corner shows that it’s already January 18th… so time’s ticking away – as it always does. Which puts us where?

As you know… irregular readers… I’m not the best at keeping this thing up to date. I’ve tried in the past but my slack-a-daisical nature seems to know no bounds.

I’d thought about doing updates last year but before you know it… things got kinda busy and the year was over… so maybe a kinda ‘year in review’ thing is in order… although it seems a little bizarre to be writing about last year when there’s this year to write about.

And then there’s the whole new year – new resolution thing that kicks in at this time.

Same as this time last year… let’s keep a day-by-day diary of what goes on in my life trying to get a foothold in the movie business… that’d be cool right? I even had people talk about me writing a book based around my experiences on set… a kind of behind the scenes tell-all.
That kinda sparked something of interest… I read a book by some guy about a year in his life as a struggling writer… it was pretty funny… pretty close to home… and made me think… you know, if he can do it – so can I.
The book s question is called 'Hollywood Jock' by a guy called Rob Ryder - there's a link to it down there yonder in the links section.

Of course… here we are some two years later and 18 days into the new year… and what have I written? Well, the phrase ‘fuck all’ seems fitting.

You see… it’s not that easy… there’s my natural procrastinatory bent which most definitely gets in the way of any kinda progress, whether on side projects like this one or the more important career-building, life sustaining, bill-paying demands of regular writing.
I tried to write a diary while I was working down in Panama before Christmas. It was hard for two reasons… just the sheer effort of fighting through a 16 hour day of tropical monsoon weather only to have to come home and then fire up the old laptop and write a diary… yeah, like that’s gonna work.
And then there’s the blackballing, going to prison for slander and libel aspect of the whole thing. I’ve considered it before… but if you’re totally open and honest about your thoughts and interactions then there’s a lot of shit – especially heat of the moment shit that is kinda rude, kinda insulting and kinda likely to kill any relationships you might have or hope to build…
So I’ve been trying to reconcile that aspect of things as much as anything… how do I write something that honestly reflects what goes on without naming names or risking killing the tenuous grip I have on this thing that barely resembles a career…

All of which bumbly-assed bullshit is a kinda roundabout way of me saying… it’s not like I ain’t been thinking about this… it’s just not quite as easy to put into practice as it is to think about.

Anyways… this is hardly an update – so…