My Wasted Life - March 24th, 2006:
So now it's officially Springtime... and you know how it goes... a young man's head fills with thoughts of... thoughts of... thoughts of... thoughts of just how fricking cold has it been? It's been damn fricking cold... the coldest March since the 1920's around these here parts. And to make matters worse as soon as Winter is over... I go get a cold... I've not been sick in three years of moving here and then in the last fifteen months I've had three colds.
The Low Down from Tinseltown...
I hate the phrase 'tinsel town' - you use tinsel at christmas... not any other time of the year... if this place was at the north pole or something I could maybe understand... but it's not... Anyway... apologies to Ross' feet for stealing (nay sir... borrowing...) his catchphrase... let's move on. Finally couldn't take it any more and had to drag my sorry ass to the movies... it feels like donkey's years since I was last in a movie theatre... but having been totally uninspired to go see anythign in recent months... and they wonder by the B.O. is down!!! If they can't get the likes of me to go see a movie then they're in a pretty bad way.
Anyway... So I wanted to see what they'd done with the Hills Have Eyes remake... it was a film I had fond memories of from when I was a young 'un and had thought it might be good for a remaking... so let's go see what they've done with it.
The Hills Have Eyes remake
After all the crap I went thru to see it, I'm not sure I even have the energy to review it... It's not very good and not a patch on the original. didn't htink much of 'Haute Tension' so why the powers that be thought the same guy would do anything with this is beyond me.
Perhaps I'll find the energy to write something up about it... but in the meantime I got to go fight this cold...
It Cost How Much?
So, like I said... I went to the movies... been a while but I needed to get out of the house and a diverting cinematic experience seemed like the thing to do.
The celluloid 'treat' was to be 'Hills Have Eyes' - it had been on for a couple of weeks but it was still showing at the Mann 6 down in hollywood but also at Universal which is none too far from me house. So I figured as I'd not been there in a while, I'd stop by Universal to watch it.
Now the thing with Universal City is that regardless of why you're there... if you drivie in... you have to pay. Now that's pain in the arse enough but it always seemed to work out cos you'd get a little voucher and if you was just going to the movies as opposed to te theme park or whatever, then you could redeem your voucher against the movie ticket price - so in effect parking was free, which is about what it should be.
Anyways... cold early spring evening and I roll up to Universal City... it's like a goddamn ghost town. Nary a one but meself and the parking attendant on view. I pay me $10 and head into Curious George parking - which is where you seem to be sent by default although the other building, known as 'Jurassic Parking', always makes me smile more. Inside the 'city' there's no more people around than there were outside. It's almost 9.30pm and pretty cold... so this place is deadsville.
I trot up to the ticket booth... ask for me ticket.
"That'll be $11."
I know... it's always $11 but you see... I only have to fork out an additional $1 for the privelige of entering a none-too-special movie theatre...
Not been to the IMAX experience up there but the normal movie theatres aren't that cool any more now that I'm spoiled by the luxury and technological splendour of the Arclight over the hill.
But I digress.
I slide a five dollar bill under the glass.
"$11."
'I know... I gave you my parking ticket.'
there's nothing like launching into an argument when you know that right is on your side. It's like watching someone rushing towards a cliff that they don't see... ooh the delicious anticipation... you can almost taste it...
But this is me... life ain't so kind...
"We don't do that any more."
A chill passed thru my whole body...
What?
"Yeah... we stopped about 6 months ago."
'So I'm supposed to pay $21 (wait... let me spell it out to convey the full horror...) 'You mean I'm supposed to pay twenty one dollars to see a movie?
"Well you get one of these."
The ticket seller slid a piece of paper under the glass. I looked at it... it's a voucher.. but not redeemable for the partial price of a cinema admission.. oh no... this is valid for ten dollars off at participating retailers... like restaurants...
What fucking use is that to me?
I was now stranded right in between the horns of a dilemma...
Part of me wanted to just throw the whole thing back in his face... piss over the doors of the universal movie theatre and never go there again...
But the bastards had me... I'd already paid me ten bucks to park the 'stang... I couldn't get that back even if I turned tail and stropped out of there...
you greedy corporate fucks...
true... i could have saved myself the $11 and just gone home... but then I'd have spent $10 just to get annoyed... and I'd still have to pay another $11 to see the movie on another ocassion...
Oh fates why do you mock me so... and universal... you bunch of bastards... how do you ever expect anyone to turn up to your crappy movie theatres on a wet and windy spring evening if it's gonna cost them double the admission fee to see a lousy movie?
Fuck that and fuck you movies...
So, I saw the remake of the Hills Have Eyes... and I went home determined not to set foot in Universal Citywalk for a long, long time.. if at all... ever again...
Prong
Whiskey, West Hollywood, California
what's up with the world?
why aren't Prong huge? Why don't people love them? Why aren't they selling out shows all over the country?
I'll never understand it.
I went down to the Whisky last night to see the mighty Prong return home at the end of a long old tour before Tommy teams up with Al for the Ministry shenanigans this year...
Got there about 9-ish figuring I'd not have to wait long to get down to business... some local support band was playing onstage... then another... then I see Tommy arrive and wander upstairs about 10 before 10pm...
It was a night of local hopefuls... each band being cheered, mobbee and/or ignored by pretty much their friends and family... by the time tommy sarrvied I was weondering if I was the only person there who wasn't actually in one of the bands or part of their own personal touring posse...
Even when I got there the place was barely a third full... which is sparse for somewhere as small as the Whosky... I know it was a sunday night... I know the Sisters of Mercy were playing down the street... but come on people... this is Prong!!!!
They're fucking awesome...!!!
As each band played an went the crowd got smaller and smaller as you could see the audience was really only made up of hangers on and 'friends' of the bands...
So... it was already past 10 and guess what... another band gets on stage... then another... flippin' 'eck Tucker!!!
Fuck me... it was almost 11.45pm before Prong took the stage... I could have stayed at home and watched the Sopranos if I'd known it was gonna kick off that late!!!
But before I go on... a word of advice for the support bands... all of them... and any other support bands who might be listening.
Four words which will give you everything you need to know to have the best possible chance of success...
SHUT UP AND PLAY!!!
jesus christ... is it that hard? Really?
I don't care where you come from... or what you had for tea... or whether you felt ill when you woke up this morning or whether you're pissed cos there's hardly anyone out front.
you know what...
just SHUT UP AND PLAY!!!!
And stop with all these bollocks boring gaps between songs... fucking draw up a setlist and burn thru it.
If I like what I hear then I'll find out all about you and come back for more... but just for once... get up on stage and do what you're being watched and listened to for...
SHUT UP AND PLAY
by the fourth band standing around wittering on about this, that and the other I was ready to go home.
stone the fucking crows people... it's not rocket science.
well finally Prong took the stage and I was seriously worried it was going to be just me and them... but fortunately about fifty or so die-hards stuck around and the Prongsters just launched into it.
see... they shut up an they played... it's a tried and trusted formula.
Hats off to Tommy V... how he can still muster all that energy to crank ity out in front of such a tiny audience is beyond me... but I'm glad he does and I just wish he was getting a better return for all of his efforts.
The band - as you would expect coming off such a road tip - were tight as a gnat's chuff... but most importantly, still looked like they wanted to be nowhere else than on stage playing their music.
They played up a storm...
Looking For Them kicked things off... we had Rude Awakening... Third Option... Another Wordly Device... Whose Fist... they played pretty much every song I love... it was so cool.
and what a great band too... the drummer... Aaron Rossi is awesome... pummels the shit out of his kit like Mikkey D... it's cool to behold... and Tommy struts and preens like the best of them... the ministry tour is in safe hands as this guy can run a show on his own let alone being a more than able support for Mr Jourghenson...
They stormed thru Snap your Fingers... Beg To Differ is an awesome live song... I mean... they all are... there's not a dull spot in the show.
One of the highlights of the night was some bloke turning up dressed as a banana. I shit you not.
He stood around drinking most of the night but when Prong took the stage he was down there in the moshpit giving it large!!!
fortunately, the crowd, although small, were well into their Prong...
Hopefully the Ministry tour will turn a lot more people onto Prong... they really are unsung heroes of the rock scene.
Get out there... by their stuff and go see them live!
